For instance, one pretty sure sign that a breakup is coming is a sudden change in the amount of physical contact between you and your partner. I'm not talking just about sex here (although, if your partner suddenly stops being interested in sex altogether, that's a pretty good sign that a breakup is coming); in the normal flow of relationship, there will be times when there's lots of sex and times when there isn't much at all. That's normal.

The kind of sudden change in physical contact I'm talking about is like if your partner suddenly stops holding your hand for no reason, when they always held your hand before. Or if they stop putting their arm around your shoulders at the movies, or when you're walking together, if they always did that before.

Any time there's a sudden change in the amount of physical contact (outside of the bedroom), especially when your partner was always physically affectionate in that way before, it could indicate a problem.

And if it goes beyond not touching you, to them not wanting you to touch them, then you should probably have a talk. Now, you can't just assume that because your partner flinched away from you one time that there's a problem; lots of things could make them feel like not wanting to be touched at any given moment:

• They might've been thinking of something else and been surprised, or startled, by your touch.
• Or they might interpret your touch to me that you think it's time to have sex, especially if you're not normally physically affectionate except when you want to be intimate. If that's the case, and they're not in the mood right now, their natural physical reaction will be to flinch away from you. This doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem.
• They could even simply not be feeling well.

Remember, just because there's an occasional change in their behavior doesn't mean that they're getting ready to break up with you, or even that there's anything wrong with the relationship; you have to pay attention to their behavior over time: if they start to avoid touching you, or constantly flinch away from your touch, then there may be a problem.

There are certainly other signals that could mean there's a breakup coming, but the key is to pay attention to patterns of behavior; if you notice a major shift in their behavior or attitude towards you, and it goes on for a long time, you need to sit down and talk about it. If it's nothing to worry about, you'll know that after you talk.

And if it is something you should be worried about, getting it out in the open is the first step to fixing it.

Post from: http://get-your-ex-back.how-to-do-that.com

How To Avoid Breaking Up

• Feed the dog
• Do the dishes
• Water the plants
• Break up with my partner

Alright, I'll admit that's a little far-fetched; most people will not put something like that on a to-do list, but if your relationship has gone south, somebody's gotta make the move to put a stop to it. The fact is, lots of people end up staying in a relationship much longer than they should because, like the old song says, "breaking up is hard to do..."

And when a breakup happens, it can be anything from coming home to find all your clothes and furniture scattered all over the front lawn and the locks on the house changed, to just coming home to an empty house, to just not coming home at all.

So how do you go about ending the relationship so nobody gets hurt? Or at least so nobody gets hurt any more than they have to?

First of all, you need to be real clear on why you want to end it. (And the obvious answer may not be the real one here: do you really want to leave him just because he leaves the toilet seat up? Or is it how his leaving the toilet seat up makes you feel?)

Once you get clear on the why, the next step is to get it out in the open. Don't avoid the issue, or try to gloss it over; get it out there in the light of day where you can both take a look at it.

Schedule a mutually convenient time to talk it out. It's better to do this in person than over the phone, but if it's a long-distance relationship, you may have to do it over the phone. Whatever you do, don't do it by texting them (yeah, a buddy of mine had this happen).

Be compassionate. You were in love with this person at some point, and if you want to try to stay friends after the breakup, you need to end it in a loving and compassionate way.

Don't put them on the defensive. Don't put it all on them; make it clear that this is about you and how the relationship is not working for you. Talk about the good things, too; let them know that you've learned from them, and that you have memories you'll always cherish.

Don't take their reaction personally. Your partner is likely to be upset when you break it off, and they may say things in the heat of the moment that they don't really mean. Try to stay compassionate; imagine how you'd feel if the situation was the other way around.

Be open to talking about it more than once. Your soon-to-be ex may need some time to get their head around the idea, or they may want to talk it over some more; try to give them what they need if it doesn't compromise your position.

Try to end on a positive note. You're ready to move on with your life, and you don't need the baggage of a poisonous breakup to follow you around. If you're ending the relationship for the right reasons, and you've been totally honest with your partner about why you're ending it, it really will be for the best for both of you. They may not see it that way at the moment; give them space to get there on their own.

Should you ever consider not breaking up?

Maybe, but if you've gotten to the point of having this talk, don't settle for less than getting everything out in the open. Pretty much any relationship can be saved if both partners want to save it and are motivated to work at saving it.

In fact, if you've gone as far as actually having "the break up" talk, and you're both willing to work at saving the relationship, chances are good that you'll come out the other side a stronger couple.

But if you've reached this point, and you don't feel good about your chances of fixing it, it's better to make a clean break, as kindly as you can, and walk away. Sometimes it's just time to move on, and only you can tell what's right for you.

Post from: http://get-your-ex-back.how-to-do-that.com

Breaking Up is Hard To Do