What you really need is a plan that's proven to work, and then you have to put that plan into action. To get you started:

The first thing you have to do is stay away from your ex.

Don't call him, don't e-mail him, don't go looking for him so you can talk to him face-to-face. You both need time and space to begin to look at the situation objectively. Take this time to concentrate on your own needs; this will be a very stressful time, and you have to take care of yourself first.

Then, make a serious effort to reconnect with family and friends.

One of the worst things you can do at a time like this is to isolate yourself; your family and friends can help you get through this period. It's important to have people around you so you're not sitting home alone, obsessing over the breakup, or obsessing over your ex boyfriend.

Ask your family and friends what they thought was wrong with your relationship.

Your boyfriend probably told you what he thought was wrong with the relationship, and I'm sure you have your own ideas on what went wrong and why, but sometimes it takes an outside observer to give you an objective appraisal of a situation. It doesn't mean that they're right, it doesn't mean that you're wrong; it just means that they can be more objective than you or him.

Now, spend some time considering what your family and friends have said.

Decide which parts of what they said can help you, and which parts you can safely ignore. You're going to agree with some of what's been said, and you're going to disagree with some of it. In the end, the choice is yours: you started out wanting to get your boyfriend back; is that still what you want? Maybe your friend's and family's input has given you reason to doubt that.

Whichever it is, get clear on what you want before you make your next move.

If you've decided that you still want to get your boyfriend back, then your next step should be to put together a plan of action and follow it, step by step. If you're not sure how to make a plan to get him back, you might want to check out "The Magic of Making Up System"; it's worked for lots of other people, maybe it will work for you, too.

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How To Get Your Boyfriend Back

Get your head straight.

Get clear on what you want and why you want it. Get rid of negative thoughts. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Be positive. Feel, self-pity and worry are very unattractive qualities, and you're not going to attract him back that way.

Accept that it's over.

The relationship you used to have with him is over. Done. In the past. You can't change anything that happened, you can't take back anything you said or did. It's carved in stone. Since you can't do anything about the past, stop trying to fix it. Instead, use it to inform your new relationship:

What was it about the relationship you used to have that didn't work? What behaviors and attitudes of yours contributed to it not working? Most importantly, how can you change your attitudes and behaviors now, so that when you start over, you don't fall into those old patterns again?

Give him space.

Don't pester him. If you get in his face all the time, you'll only annoy him and that won't help. Think about the most annoying person you know: how much time do you want to spend with that person? Approximately... NONE. If you annoy your ex, how much time is he going to want to spend with you? Approximately...

So don't call him, email him, text him, or follow him or his friends around. Give him time and space to start to realize he may have made a mistake in breaking it off. To start missing you. Think about the person you miss the most: how much do you want to see that person again? A lot, right? And once he starts missing you, how much will your ex want to see you?

Be desirable.

Try some new makeup, or a different hairstyle. Maybe get some new clothes. (Hey! Do you really need an excuse like this to go out and get some new clothes?) Go to the gym. Start a regular walking, jogging, or running program. When you look hot on the outside, you start feeling hot on the inside, and that will give you confidence and confidence makes you desirable. (And if things aren't going to work out with the ex, you'll also be desirable to other guys...)

Take it slow and easy.

If you've followed the first 4 tips, chances are good that — if he's even a little bit interested in getting back together — your ex boyfriend will start coming around again. When he sees the "new" you, he'll probably be sorry that he broke up with you.

At this point, it's important to keep your distance, emotionally and physically. Especially physically: if you're looking good, and he wants you, it'll make him want you even more if you don't let him get intimate right away (even if — no, especially if — you want him just as bad).

Whatever you do, before you get all hot and heavy, get straight with him about didn't work for you the last time out, and make sure that he's willing to do his part to do it right this time. If not, maybe one of those other guys who's been checking you out would be a better choice...

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5 Quick Tips To Get Your Boyfriend Back