Most relationships follow a predictable pattern; when you first meet, everything is wonderful: they can do no wrong in your eyes, and you can do no wrong in theirs. After you've been together for a while, you start to get used to each other. The newness is gone, and things start to change: the little quirks you thought were charming at the beginning actually start to bother you now.

There's an old expression, "Familiarity breeds contempt." This is certainly true of most relationships. After you start to get comfortable with each other, that's when the trouble begins. This is what tests the strength of a relationship; it takes work to get through this period of starting to see the other person's faults and maintain the relationship anyway.

And sometimes, instead of wanting to work on it, one or the other of you just wants to get out of the relationship completely. If it wasn't you that wanted to get out, and you think your relationship is worth saving, then you'll have to do some work to get your ex back. Here are four easy steps you can take:

Say, "I'm Sorry."

Saying you're sorry is one of the best things to do when you're trying to get your ex back. But be sure that you're saying you're sorry for the right things; after a breakup, it's easy to blame yourself for everything, but remember: it takes two to make a successful relationship. And it takes two to break one.

And when you're saying you're sorry, don't let your ex bait you into fighting with them; if you say you're sorry about something, and your ex brings up some other issue, don't get defensive; stay calm, stay cool, stay on point.

Talk Things Out

If your ex is up to it, set a time when you can sit down together and talk things out. Whatever you do, don't beg, plead, or otherwise try to force your ex into this; if they don't want to talk, just go to the next step. If they do agree, be prepared to keep your emotions in check; this is not the time to get into a fight. Make it clear to them that you have no desire to assign blame with this discussion.

The idea is to talk about the issues objectively; you should both agree beforehand to be objective and non-emotional. Try to keep your voices even, and speak quietly and slowly. If you can talk things out without assigning blame or getting into another argument, you'll get much better results. You may want to think about getting a therapist or relationship counselor involved in this process to help keep you both on track and non-confrontational.

Give Them Space

This may seem counterintuitive, but you have to remember that just because you want to talk to them or see them, it doesn't mean that they want to talk to you or see you. It's very important to give them space; a little time away from you will give them time to cool down and give them a chance to start missing you. If you try to stay in contact with them the whole time, they won't have that chance.

Show Them You Care About Yourself

If you seem desperate, clingy, or whiny, or if you sit around waiting for them to call, or keep checking your e-mail every few minutes hoping for a message from them, you're not doing yourself any favors. Go hang out with your friends, go to a movie, go to a concert, go shopping. Whatever you do, just get up and go. Get on with your life.

It's better if you're not home when your ex calls; that will make them wonder where you are, who you're with, and what you're doing. If you're out, and your cell phone rings, and it's your ex, don't answer; let it go to voicemail. Wait until the next day to call them back; tell them you were busy, and didn't get a chance to call them back. When they see that you're not sitting around waiting for them, it may make them want to pursue you.

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How to Get Your Ex Back In Four Easy Steps

There are plenty of sites out there that try to answer that question, but common sense - and common courtesy - can make a huge difference in how things go after the breakup. If you're convinced you want your ex back, and you're wondering how to do it, here are some simple ideas that may help improve your chances of getting back together:

First of all, don't play games.

This is super important, and most people mess this up bad. They think if they can make the other person think they don't care, or that they care more than they actually do, they can game them into getting back together.

Don't kid yourself. What if your ex "falls for it", and they decide to give you another chance? How long do you think it'll take them to figure out you were gaming them? And what happens then?

Some people play the "I'm moving on, I'm over you" game, where they pretend to be dating somebody new, or to be in love with somebody else, to make the other person jealous. And yeah, that may make the other person jealous, but it could also totally push them away from you.

Think about it: how would you react if the situation was reversed? Would you get all jealous and want to get back with them? Or would you think, "Well, they got over me quick. Guess I better get over them, too" and move on to greener pastures? Hard to say. But it's also hard to say what your ex is gonna do if you play that with them. Do you want to take the chance that they pick door # 2 and make the break permanent?

Second, don't be mean.

Sometimes there's a lot of anger involved in a breakup, especially if your ex is the one who left. Don't let that anger get the best of you and mess things up with your ex for good. Look at it this way: if somebody was acting mean toward you, how much time would you want to spend with them? About... none. So why would anybody you're being mean to want to spend time with you?

They wouldn't.

Look, even if you're mad, the fact that you're asking yourself what you have to do to get your ex back shows that you're willing to forgive them for whatever hurt you think they've caused you. If you weren't willing to forgive them, you wouldn't want to get back with them: you'd be glad it was over.

Think about how you've been acting toward your ex: if you were them, would you look forward to seeing you or talking to you? Or would you dread the idea? Do you yell at your ex? Nag them? Argue? Fuss? Fight? Do you think that's going to attract them back, or push them away?

Be nice.

Let them remember what drew them to you in the first place (chances are it wasn't because you yelled at them and nagged them). Let them remember the good things about you and miss you because of them. Then you might have a chance to get back with them.

These are just a couple of ideas that'll help you get started on getting your ex back. And you don't have to take my word for it; I got this stuff from my buddy "T Dub" Jackson. Now, "T Dub" ain't no psychologist or relationship counselor; he's just a regular guy who showed me a simple step-by-step plan to get my ex back. A lot of what he told me was about the opposite of everything I'd ever tried, but then I figured, I didn't have much luck doing it my way, so I might as well try his.

And you know what? Worked like a charm. If you click on the link right below here, you can check him out for yourself. There's a couple of videos on that page where he'll tell you exactly what to do to get started the right way.

Take me to T Dub's page.

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What Can I Do To Get My Ex Back?