If you've ever broken up with someone, or had someone break up with you, you know how painful it can be. And if you look back at the end of a relationship, you probably saw all the signs that a breakup was coming, you just ignored them. If you can remember those signs, and keep them in mind, they can help you to avoid a breakup in the future.

For instance, one pretty sure sign that a breakup is coming is a sudden change in the amount of physical contact between you and your partner. I'm not talking just about sex here (although, if your partner suddenly stops being interested in sex altogether, that's a pretty good sign that a breakup is coming); in the normal flow of relationship, there will be times when there's lots of sex and times when there isn't much at all. That's normal.

The kind of sudden change in physical contact I'm talking about is like if your partner suddenly stops holding your hand for no reason, when they always held your hand before. Or if they stop putting their arm around your shoulders at the movies, or when you're walking together, if they always did that before.

Any time there's a sudden change in the amount of physical contact (outside of the bedroom), especially when your partner was always physically affectionate in that way before, it could indicate a problem.

And if it goes beyond not touching you, to them not wanting you to touch them, then you should probably have a talk. Now, you can't just assume that because your partner flinched away from you one time that there's a problem; lots of things could make them feel like not wanting to be touched at any given moment:

• They might've been thinking of something else and been surprised, or startled, by your touch.
• Or they might interpret your touch to me that you think it's time to have sex, especially if you're not normally physically affectionate except when you want to be intimate. If that's the case, and they're not in the mood right now, their natural physical reaction will be to flinch away from you. This doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem.
• They could even simply not be feeling well.

Remember, just because there's an occasional change in their behavior doesn't mean that they're getting ready to break up with you, or even that there's anything wrong with the relationship; you have to pay attention to their behavior over time: if they start to avoid touching you, or constantly flinch away from your touch, then there may be a problem.

There are certainly other signals that could mean there's a breakup coming, but the key is to pay attention to patterns of behavior; if you notice a major shift in their behavior or attitude towards you, and it goes on for a long time, you need to sit down and talk about it. If it's nothing to worry about, you'll know that after you talk.

And if it is something you should be worried about, getting it out in the open is the first step to fixing it.