Almost everybody goes through a breakup some time in their lives, and after a breakup (unless the relationship was awful), many people want to get their ex back. In fact, even if the relationship was awful, some people still want to get their ex back.

Most relationships follow a predictable pattern; when you first meet, everything is wonderful: they can do no wrong in your eyes, and you can do no wrong in theirs. After you've been together for a while, you start to get used to each other. The newness is gone, and things start to change: the little quirks you thought were charming at the beginning actually start to bother you now.

There's an old expression, "Familiarity breeds contempt." This is certainly true of most relationships. After you start to get comfortable with each other, that's when the trouble begins. This is what tests the strength of a relationship; it takes work to get through this period of starting to see the other person's faults and maintain the relationship anyway.

And sometimes, instead of wanting to work on it, one or the other of you just wants to get out of the relationship completely. If it wasn't you that wanted to get out, and you think your relationship is worth saving, then you'll have to do some work to get your ex back. Here are four easy steps you can take:

Say, "I'm Sorry."

Saying you're sorry is one of the best things to do when you're trying to get your ex back. But be sure that you're saying you're sorry for the right things; after a breakup, it's easy to blame yourself for everything, but remember: it takes two to make a successful relationship. And it takes two to break one.

And when you're saying you're sorry, don't let your ex bait you into fighting with them; if you say you're sorry about something, and your ex brings up some other issue, don't get defensive; stay calm, stay cool, stay on point.

Talk Things Out

If your ex is up to it, set a time when you can sit down together and talk things out. Whatever you do, don't beg, plead, or otherwise try to force your ex into this; if they don't want to talk, just go to the next step. If they do agree, be prepared to keep your emotions in check; this is not the time to get into a fight. Make it clear to them that you have no desire to assign blame with this discussion.

The idea is to talk about the issues objectively; you should both agree beforehand to be objective and non-emotional. Try to keep your voices even, and speak quietly and slowly. If you can talk things out without assigning blame or getting into another argument, you'll get much better results. You may want to think about getting a therapist or relationship counselor involved in this process to help keep you both on track and non-confrontational.

Give Them Space

This may seem counterintuitive, but you have to remember that just because you want to talk to them or see them, it doesn't mean that they want to talk to you or see you. It's very important to give them space; a little time away from you will give them time to cool down and give them a chance to start missing you. If you try to stay in contact with them the whole time, they won't have that chance.

Show Them You Care About Yourself

If you seem desperate, clingy, or whiny, or if you sit around waiting for them to call, or keep checking your e-mail every few minutes hoping for a message from them, you're not doing yourself any favors. Go hang out with your friends, go to a movie, go to a concert, go shopping. Whatever you do, just get up and go. Get on with your life.

It's better if you're not home when your ex calls; that will make them wonder where you are, who you're with, and what you're doing. If you're out, and your cell phone rings, and it's your ex, don't answer; let it go to voicemail. Wait until the next day to call them back; tell them you were busy, and didn't get a chance to call them back. When they see that you're not sitting around waiting for them, it may make them want to pursue you.